Sunday, October 28, 2007

Exhaustion

It's Sunday night and I'm so damn tired. I went out to breakfast with the Lost NYers today and as M was outside with the girls (they have a 2 1/2-year old, A and I talked about how crazy it is to be a single parent and why anyone would actually choose to do so. I certainly wouldn't want to talk anyone out of having a child if that's what they wanted, but it is so much easier with two parents (MF, MM, FF...whatever). By 3:00 p.m. yesterday I just needed 10 minutes to myself and little j wanted to go out and ride her new bike. So, of course, we did.

It sounds strange to say, but I am actually looking forward to working on my dissertation tomorrow. I just want to be out of the house, away from things that need to be dusted/vacuumed/washed/cleaned/swept/fed/entertained/whatever. Of course I know when I come home all that will need to be done.

little j has been amazingly good this weekend. I have zero room to complain. She even helped me empty the dishwasher and clean the kitchen up yesterday. I feel really fortunate that she is generally happy and willing to help out. She also understands that she needs to help out more with Big J is out of town.

But I am feeling a little jealous of Big J. He's been in Portland for a week, he saw my college roommate/best friend and her husband and two amazing children, went to the Oregon-USC game with said friend's husband, spent a week at The Kennedy School and today at the Edgefield. I know he is working hard, so I certainly don't begrudge him the time away and enjoyable time in Portland...but sometimes I think, "Hey, that was me. I was the one who traveled. I was the one that got to stay in great hotels and eat good dinners, see new places, and hang out with amazing colleagues." Sure, I'm glad I don't travel as much as I used to, but then again there is part of me that misses that piece of my life.

On the upside, I do get to go on a little trip week after next. And I get to see one of my best girlfriends that I haven't seen for over a year. I think I am more excited to see her that be away from home! Regardless, it will be interesting to be away for three nights for a conference . . . I get to be a professional (not a mom, not a student, not a wife) for four whole days. Holy crap! Will I remember how to do that?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I wish you were here in PDX with me! I love you! Big J