who do I want to be?

I know that I have written about this in the past, but it is a recurring question in my life. I am still searching. I have definitely made the decision to go the faculty route. Although I enjoyed my time as an administrator I really feel that the work is not going to give me what I need as a professional. I want to have time to read, research, think, reflect. And as an administrator finding time for that is a rare occurrence.

I also want to have an impact on student life. Big J asked me, in response to the events at Virginia Tech, didn't I feel like I would be more prepared and in a better position to assist in a crisis if I were in student affairs. But the fact remains, I would still have students I was close to and just because I was a faculty member doesn't mean I couldn't lend support.

But on Saturday I wrote a poem. It's the first time in several years that I've even had the desire to write creatively, and it felt good. I realize how much I miss that part of my life. Of course just because I wrote a poem doesn't mean that I now want to be a poet. That's a little silly. But I do know that the realization that part of my life is important to me has opened a door to something else. What that is, I am not quite sure. The room is kind of dark and I am still trying to find my way around. This room is worth exploring.