survey and thoughts on the nature of work

My survey goes out today. As it turns out there are a lot more potential participants than I anticipated. I thought perhaps there might be close to 250. But I found out this morning there are actually 1108! Wow! If I can't get 10 qualified participants out of that group then there's an issue. In any case, I am very excited. I will have to keep myself from checking my survey results every 30 minutes or so tonight.

In other thoughts, I think I've come to the realization that I actually thrive on work. But it's not just work, it's the work that I've chosen. I really enjoy it, I'm passionate about it, it's on my mind nearly all the time; not so much the day-to-day busy work, but the bigger picture of what I am doing.

This realization has caused me to think quite a bit about the nature of work over the last couple of days. There have been times that I have thought I would be much happier if I had a job that I worked at 40 hours a week and then went home and didn't think about it again until the next Monday. But upon reflection, I just don't think I would be happy with that. I am much happier when I think about the bigger picture of education, access, and equity issues and how I might fit into that picture and how I can possibly make an impact.

I admire people that can put their job away after their 40 hours. I believe that they have a certain balance in life that I might never achieve, and I also believe that those individuals then have the time to pursue their passion in a way I never will. In fact, I used to be jealous of that lifestyle. But no longer. I will no longer feel guilty about not having a "hobby" or a non-work related passion. I will, instead, live my passion through my career.

This morning as I was helping little j get dressed she told me that she didn't want to go to school. When I told her that daddy had to go to work and I had a busy day she asked what I was going to be doing. I gave her a list of things I needed to accomplish, from dissertation things to work for my advisor and she said, "But I want to help you with those things." My first reaction was to tell her that those were things she couldn't help me with, but on further reflection, I need to remember that an important part of her development is imitating behavior, and if I can model a passion for social justice issues and let her participate in the work that I so strongly believe in she will be a stronger woman and well on her way to finding her own passions.