missing good Mexican food

We've lived in central Virginia for nearly 3 1/2 years and the one thing that I still miss about the West Coast on a regular basis is Mexican food. Of course we have several Mexican restaurants here, and sometimes we are so desperate that we will try one, but we are always disappointed. So it falls to us to make our own, and, quite honestly, it isn't that difficult to make a really good, authentic meal.

Last night we hosted a little baby shower and served a Mexican feast: grilled portabellas with fire roasted poblano salsa, potato chorizo tacos, shrimp with garlic mojo, and of course margaritas. Yum! And I should extend a major thank you to Rick Bayless for his amazing cookbook.

Hosting dinner reminded me how much I love to cook. Not just cook, but cook for friends and family. I spent all day cooking and it was incredibly satisfying. But sadly, as Big J and I were cleaning up I had a sliver of doubt about the meal. What if our guests left and commented to each other about how bad the meal was, or how they couldn't believe I'd served a particular dish. Intellectually I know that wasn't the case. But the feeling just nudged its way into my good feelings.

Why am I so full of self-doubt lately? It is frustrating to know that I have done something well only to have the success tarnished by negativity. Often I wonder if I am the only person that feels this way. More than that, I am envious of people who I feel have all the self-confidence that I seem to lack. This is the puzzle I am intent on unraveling.