anxiety

It is creeping up, I can feel it in my shoulders and neck. When I was little my grandfather used to make me breakfast every morning and this morning I had a desire for some comfort food. So I cooked up some oatmeal, not instant, on the stove just like he used to do. But I really wished he was here to make me soft boiled eggs. Whenever I had a big day he would make that for me, and for some reason it calmed my nerves. Maybe it was just the fact that he always knew what was going on and did his best to make me feel good, even though he never acknowledged it in words.

I printed out my presentation, I have my clothes out, I am getting ready to read over my proposal one last time. My advisor assured me that I would be "great." But let's be honest, there are going to be four faculty members critiquing a whole year's worth of work. They are going to send me out of the room to deliberate. According to my advisor, they are going to call me back in and congratulate me. Intellectually I understand this. But that doesn't keep me from having the proverbial knot in my stomach.

Full debriefing will be posted.