This morning I was in the shower and I was debating whether or not I should shave my legs. I didn't yesterday and I really couldn't think of a good reason to do it today other than the fact that I didn't do it yesterday. So, I didn't. The more I thought about it, the more irritated I became with the state of the women's movement in our society. It's an interesting paradox that I am all in favor of equality, and most certainly equal pay for equal work, but by the same token I don't necessarily cringe when a man looks at me a little too long. But then I always feel a little icky...am I making myself attractive for me, or because I want to be attractive for others. And who are "others." Are they men? Are they other women?
Here's one thing I do believe: women have a lot more power than they give themselves credit for, and the women's movement would be farther along if it weren't for the nasty backbiting and catty comments that is so prevalent between women. I'll be the first to admit that I have no problem criticizing another woman. In fact, I've been told (admonished) that at times I really need to be 50% nicer.
Here is the problem as I see it: We grew up as heiresses to the success of the women's movement with the understanding that all choices are open to us. BUT we have to make those choices while we fit into the socially acceptable social norms of being a women. Sure, we can be CEOs of a Fortune 500 company, but we have to do it the way a man would and we have to remember our place. We have to be strong, but not too strong; we have to be assertive (not aggressive) and demure at the same time. And we have to wear lipstick and pantyhose.
Well, dammit! That's just a little to much to ask of us. Is it any wonder that women fight amongst themselves? When men get in an argument they have a little stand-off and then, in the words of Michael Scott, they hug it out, bitch. I have never seen women "hug it out." But men can do that...they don't have to fight each other to get to the top, they are already there. The competition for women is double what it is for men with more rules.
This has been a little rambling...but those are my thoughts today. I love being a woman, but sometimes it can be a real bitch.
Sunday, October 29, 2006
the gen-x feminist paradox
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I may have mentioned it already, but you MUST read Female Chauvinist Pigs: Women and the Rise of Raunch Culture if you haven't yet b/c it addresses this phenomenon better than I ever could.
Also? I think one of the reasons (and I'm borrowing a theory from The Beauty Myth here) women are SO socialized to care so much about appearances is that it keeps us distracted from REAL issues - i.e., there has never been a woman president. What year is it, again? People get their panties in a bunch over Hillary Rodham Clinton. People still are mystified by women (like me) who didn't take their husbands' last names and say things like, "If you don't take his last name then you probably shouldn't be married."
Sorry for the rant. (Exhale.)
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